Left Behind Diary
by BlackOutT
Summary: Red is reading the diary written by Green. Wrote this when I heard of my friend's father having colon cancer. RedxGreen Red tops
1. 07 xxxx, xxxx

**I know this is extremely short but, I've been tempted to write a fic like this for quite some time so I'm trying it out... D8 Hopefully it's not bad D8 Also mostly the feelings of Green in this diary is based on what I think one would feel. I do not have such disease (touch wood) but I have a weak body (prone to sickness...really). So yea...hopefully I get to catch the real feelings of those who really suffered.  
**

**Green (c) Pokemon  
**

* * *

**Date: ****07 xxxx, xxxx**

**Weather: Cloudy**

Today, I went to the gym as usual and held battles. But, my coughs were getting bad. I have been having this cough for the past few months. Once in a while, my chest hurt so much from the cough but the pain left after a while. At first I thought it was just a plain cough, until my sister nagged me to see the doctor and I did.

I waited for my turn to see the doctor, and when I sat by his table, my cough attacked me. This time, I got a huge surprise. Blood was seen on my palm. The doctor who saw that immediately got me to get a full body check.

Once the report was out, I went to collect it. At first I thought my ears were playing a fool with me. But the doctor repeated his words to me.

"You are diagnosed to have…3rd stage lung cancer."


	2. 08 xxxx, xxxx

**Green, Red (c) Pokemon**

* * *

**Date: 08 xxxx, xxxx**

**Weather: Rainy **

I lied on my bed the entire morning, holding the report in my hand. Yesterday, when I got the report, I told the doctor to not tell anyone of my disease. The doctor did suggest to me to undergo chemotherapy, but I declined the offer. Yes, it could help me recover from my lung cancer, but my other good body parts would deteriorate due to the exposure of radiation. Besides, I am already one foot in the grave. What is there for me to do?

Out of the sudden urge, I took out my phone and dialed _his_ number. The dial tone got me nervous and as soon as he picked up the phone, I gulped. I waited for him to speak but no voice was heard. Veins were popping out from my head and I shouted at him that he should speak when I called. And thanks to that, I coughed.

I wonder if he was worried about me, though he only called my name once over the phone, and then returned to silence. Probably, he's worried, yet waiting for me to calm down. I sighed and gripped the phone, and lied back to the bed. And somehow, I don't understand why and where my pride had gone, but I told him this.

"Red...could you please...come down from the mountain?"


	3. 11 xxxx, xxxx

**Green, Red, Pikachu, Eevee (c) Pokemon**

* * *

**Date: 1****1 xxxx, xxxx**

**Weather: Sunny**

It's been 3 days since I did not go to the Gym.

And this morning, I almost got a heart attack. Why? Because my childhood friend a.k.a rival a.k.a the idiot a.k.a _my boyfriend_, was in my room, sitting by the bed, with his face so close to me. Of course I screamed at the top of my lungs, and thanks to that, I strained my throat. I cursed him mentally while trying to reach for the cup of water nearby. Thankfully he wasn't stupid enough to just stand there and handed the cup to me. Due to that, I managed to calm down.

Red sat at the chair near the table, while Pikachu was running around with Eevee. I didn't know what got to me but the silence in the room was disturbing. Well, Red had returned from Mt. Silver thanks to my call 2 days ago. And what happened next? Red suddenly held out his hand and caressed my face.

Ah, how long have I not felt the warm hands of his? It's surprising that his hands are still warm, despite his long stay in Mt. Silver. I snuggled towards his warm hands. But of course, when I noticed what I did, I just swallowed my pride and said,

"Welcome back."


	4. 17 xxxx, xxxx

**Stenny: Haha~ thanks for liking! as for no one reviewing, I guess it's because it's just few chaps, and the story hasn't been revealing much yet, I suppose. Haha. Thanks for liking it!**

**Green, Red (c) Pokemon  
**

* * *

**Date: 17 xxxx, xxxx**

**Weather: Cloudy**

It's been almost a week since I wrote an entry in this diary. Ever since Red returned, everything had started to become livelier. Challengers increased in numbers, since majority wanted to challenge Red, the ex-Kanto Champion. But due to the lack of space and time, I had to join the battle. Of course, many complained, but due to having the problems at hand (and the desire to finish the battle with everyone quickly), I had to do so.

And it was because of that, I got tired too easily (after all, I had a sickness that could not be told), that I couldn't get a time to properly sit and write. And, it was also because of Red's return, I resisted the pain that sometimes attack my chest. Sometimes I even held back my cough. It was tough, but no one noticed, I guess. After I closed the gym, and ensured that Red had returned to his own home first, I went to see the doctor to check on my health.

The report came, and the doctor requested (more like begging) me to do chemotherapy. Again, I rejected. He then sighed and explained my health.

"You really should stop straining yourself. Because, the cancer cells in your lungs are spreading faster that what I expected."


	5. 22 xxxx, xxxx

**Red, Green, Pikachu (c) Pokemon**

* * *

**Date: 22 xxxx, xxxx**

**Weather: Rainy**

I dreaded this day.

It wasn't that bad before.

But, I just had to let him saw what happened to me.

I was having a severe pain and cough this morning and I went to the toilet. While trying to cough out whatever it was that was in my throat, suddenly, I coughed out massive amount of blood. I stared at both my hand and sink, surprised at what happened. It was then; I heard a soft 'pika' from the door. I turned and my eyes grew wide.

Red was standing there, staring at me and the blood on my hands with his wide eyes.

And after I washed the mess, and sat on my bed, Red squatted in front of me. He held my hands and stared straight to my eyes.

"Green, what sickness did you get...?"


	6. 23 xxxx, xxxx

**K: Thanks for liking it!**

**And thank you all for faving this fic!**

**Red, Green (c)**

* * *

**Date: 23 xxxx, xxxx**

**Weather: Sunny**

Ever since I told Red about my sickness, he totally became someone different from before. He, well, stayed -scratch that- _stuck_ to me all the time. Whenever I was challenged for a battle in the gym, he'll take over my place and started battle them in my place. Even when I yawn and accidentally hurt my throat, he'll get panic easily. Because of how he acted, I had to hold in the pain I got at my chest.

Speaking of that, pains have been attacking me more often than before. It hurts very badly to the extent that I can't hide it anymore. The amount of blood that I coughed out increased as well. But I still insist on not doing chemotherapy. I wonder what Red would think if I tell him I don't want to do chemotherapy. Would he insist me to undergo that treatment?

...

Or will he not? Red's head is a very complicated thing. I only manage to decipher 70% of whatever that is going on in his mind. That aside, Red is now sleeping at my side. Looking at him sleeping really makes me feel happy. Then again, I feel sad, as I can't be with him for long. The thought itself makes me wonder, will he be alright if he's on his own? Will he be able to take care of himself and go on living, even without me by his side?

"Red...if only, there is a better cure for me..."

* * *

**Somethings I need to explain here. You might wonder what's the reason I made Green did not want to take chemotherapy. It is because I have seen and heard several cancer patients, who undergo such treatment, and yes they do get well, but not long after that, cancer starts to attack other places. And worst, it brought more pain coz of the weakened body. And just not long ago, I heard from my friend about a father of another friend of mine. His father had colon cancer for quite some time now and even though he did chemo, it turned out worst. And now the poor man is having a fourth stage cancer that my friend doesn't know about since he didn't ask my other friend. That's why I don't really like the treatment chemotherapy. If you're lucky, you're cured. But most of the time you're unlucky, and you will earn yourself another suffering. Anywayyyy~~~ look forward to the next chap!**


	7. 25 xxxx, xxxx

**Pkmn Trainer Bronze: I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma D8 And yes, I have the same thoughts as you do about chemotherapy. Also I'm not really sure how to end it yet but well, its up to you to imagine it.**

**Kurozaki: Haha, everyone would prefer Green to be cured miraculously since cancer has no cure now. But maybe in the future there might be.**

**Shibara: When you have no more fics to read, and you got bored, you'll ended up clicking at random titles and read haha. And I'm glad mine managed to attract you. Thanks for supporting!**

**Red, Green, Eevee (c) Pokemon  
**

**

* * *

**

**Date: 25 xxxx, xxxx**

**Weather: Rainy**

Sis knew about me having lung cancer and stopped me from going to the Gym now. What's more, Red told her what he saw about me puking blood at the toilet that day, and that caused her to get even more cautious to everything about me. I do understand her trying to take care of me, but this is getting annoying to me.

The sound of the rain falling really could calm one down. But it couldn't calm Sis's sorrows that I am having such sickness. What's more, she insisted on me doing chemotherapy, but I refused to do so. Seeing that she failed to convince me to do so, she just let the sound of rain fall hide her sobbing. I knew that I could be saved, but I don't trust that sort of treatment. Even so, even if I told Sis about my reason, it still couldn't bring her sorrows and my cancer away. I just dragged myself to the living room.

There's only silence in the living room. It was as though no one was in the house. I just sat in front of the TV and randomly switched to a channel with Gramps in it. Eevee then sat next to me. How she got out of her Pokéball somehow amused me. The doorbell rang and as soon as I opened the door, I saw Red, completely drenched. Since I lost my energy (and my ability) to scold him, I just let him in the house and handed him a towel.

Red's appearance somehow made me assumed a few things. It was possible that he just loved to stand in the rain and feel the nature, or he went to the doctor and found out I have no cure and later cried in the rain. Again, silence filled the living room, with only Gramps' voice from the TV. As soon as I tried to stand, Red pulled me into a hug.

"...Let's make memories, Green..."


	8. 11 yyyy, xxxx

**Kurozaki Yeap! Photos are the best thing for memories!**

**Ritsu Thanks!**

**Pkmn Trainer Bronze It's up to how you think 8D and yea Daisy will lose her younger brother ;w;**

**Arya May Huhu~ that's up to how you think on the 'memories' 8)  
**

**Red, Green (c) Pokemon**

* * *

**Date: 11 yyyy, xxxx**

**Weather: Cloudy**

It seems my condition had gotten worst to the extent that I have to stay in the hospital now. The doctor said that whatever I've done in the past few days must have accelerated the cancer growth rate. I guess that's the reason to why I felt severe pain and easily exhausted lately. I wonder was it because of my intention to make more memories with Red, thus causing my health to deteriorate fast. And thanks to that I am now in the hospital.

Red apologized for causing my health to deteriorate due to his intention in making more memories. And it took full long 4 hours to convince him that it was fine. I got so tired in convincing him and just went to sleep. I soon woke up (rather, Red woke me up) around the evening for my dinner. During the meal, the silence that filled the room was really uncomfortable. That's because Red was being quiet, and his facial expression showed deep sadness.

I wondered what went wrong with him. Red usually doesn't show a face that one could understand so easily. I wanted to say something to cheer him up, but not knowing the cause, I couldn't choose my words. I ended up asking him what was wrong. He looked up and stared and me. To my surprised, I saw a tear fell from his left eye. He then opened his mouth.

"The doctor said...you only got about 1-2 months left."


	9. 20 yyyy, xxxx

**OMG! I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR A LONG TIME! Uni has been an ass to me for the past few months and now only I am free from the evil clutches of finals! So here's a chapter that I had slowly worked on it. Though well...short. Sorry D8**

**Russian Prince Kai Hiwatari: Oh wow! I didn't know you rp'd as Green! And thanks for the review! I apologize for making you cry TwT**

**Happy Hereford: Thanks for liking it! Sorry to hear that you've seen so many crappy ones D8**

**Kurozaki: Well they will. 8)**

**Pkmn Trainer Bronze: Red's first precious tear! Haha~**

**Red, Green, Pikachu, Eevee and Blastoise (C) Pokemon**

* * *

**Date: 20 yyyy, xxxx**

**Weather: Cloudy**

Today I decided to go for a walk, instead of just lying on the bed. The nurse said that I should be resting instead of walking around, but I refused to. It's boring to keep lying on the bed. At the very least, I get to see some nice view other than staring at four walls. With a few persuasions, the nurse finally gave in. She then gave me a device that in case I am in severe pain, I should press the button and help will come.

I wandered aimlessly and finally, I am at the cafeteria. And frankly speaking, I was already tired even if it's just a few minutes of walk. I decided to take a seat by the glass door and looked at the garden. Well the garden is just next to the cafeteria. While viewing, suddenly I saw a familiar Arcanine running around, with a familiar Blastoise. Thinking they were illusions, I rubbed my eyes and as soon as I opened my eyes again, the Arcanine I saw was already right at my face.

I jumped and fell from the chair, but I was lucky that Red caught me on time. Once I finally calmed down, he then explained that my Pokémons missed me so badly. I couldn't help but just smile. After all, I merely have 1 - 2 months left. Red let out his Pokémons to enjoy themselves with mine at the garden, while Eevee and Pikachu were chatting at their own language on the table. We looked at how they enjoy the company of each other. And throughout that, Red did not speak of anything. Well, that's how he is. He rarely speaks.

It was then, Red called my name with his low deep voice. Not suspecting him, I merely turned to him with a questioned look. He then dug out something from his pocket and slowly, I noticed he put something on my finger. Yes, a ring. I looked up at him, shocked, and Red merely smiled in returned. The words that he spoke after that got me to shed tears, both happiness and sadness. And those words are:

"Green, marry me."


	10. 03 zzzz, xxxx

**I feel like I've just killed everyone who's been reading this...I AM SO SORRY! *cries and sulk in the corner for not updating this fic for so long* ;3; Btw, to those who have been reading 'Consent for Love', sorry to say this BUT me and my friend decided to delete it since we ran out of ideas. I AM SO SORRY! So to compensate for it, please read this fic ;w;**

******Pkmn Trainer Bronze: Lol you're the first person I need to apologize ;3;**

******bitter-cAnDy-sweet: Thanks! And I'm sorry for not updating fast ;w;**

******Sirilias: I'm glad it does...? And I'm sorry for late updating ;3;**

******and everyone who's been following this: I AM SORRY FOR UPDATING LATEEEEE! *bows*  
**

******Red, Green, Professor Oak, Daisy (C) Pokemon**

* * *

**Date: 03 zzzz, xxxx**

**Weather: Cloudy**

About two weeks have passed and I have not replied Red yet. Red did not seem to rush me for the answer. Probably it's because he didn't want to put any more unnecessary pressure on me. Or maybe, he is afraid of my answer. Despite that, I am still unsure of the answer. My time is almost up. I can't bind him down. I don't want him to be alone, not taking in anyone after I died. And yet...I loved him. I want to be with him, forever. The words that he muttered were the ones of my dreams. Yet, I don't know what I should do. I obviously can't tell this to Grandpa, what more of Sis.

Unconsciously, I somehow took my phone and dialed Sis' number. Her voice when she picked up the phone was somehow shaky. She's probably afraid that some random doctor from the hospital calls her and says that I am dying. But her tone relaxed after I spoke, so I guess she was relieved. I did not go into the main topic of the conversation, but Sis will always be Sis. She knew something was wrong and asked me about it. I gripped the phone and spoke slowly, explaining the situation. Sis patiently listened to what I say. I was glad with that. Silence grew for a moment and then a small huff was heard.

"Green...just accept it, you dummy!"


	11. 05 zzzz, xxxx

**And again, this is a slow release...*shot* I'm taking a break from my studies for Finals and writing this short chap! yay! *shot shot shot***

**Sirilias: Aww! Don't feel sad! There are other many nice fics out there who writes about them being happy!**

**Pkmn Trainer Bronze: Awwwww~~! Thank you for thinking about me! *shot shot shot***

**Kimnd: Haha, that's Green's idiocy?...LOL and thanks for liking it...? *shot***

**To those who faved this fic: I love you guys~ *muacks***

**********Red, Green, Daisy (C) Pokemon**

* * *

**Date: 05 zzzz, xxxx**

**Weather: Cloudy**

Sis's words got me to think for a day. Red visited again today and again he did not touch on the topic on his proposal. I knew that he wanted to know my answer each day but he didn't want to put more pressure on me, considering that I am suffering from my sickness. I frowned, earning an attention from him. He asked me what's wrong, but I just remained silent. Worried, Red then held my hands and convinced that I am not alone. I feel the warmth of his hands. The warmth that I will soon missed once I am gone. Red too held my hands tight, as though treasuring everything about me; my hands, my face, my skin, my warmth.

That made me almost wanted to talk to him about the proposal. I opened my mouth, but the attack came once more, and I collapsed. It wasn't long after that I woke up, feeling weaker than ever. I looked at Red, who was still holding my hand tightly. And from his expression, I know I wouldn't have much time left. I wanted to hold him too, but I barely had any energy left. But I managed to gather my strength and hold it tight. I want to speak, but I am too tired. Even now, I'm also struggling to write this entry. And it's best I pen down what I wanted to say.

'I accept.'


	12. Unknown

**I'm finally free from my Degree ;v; Now that I had the time, I have finished this chap!  
**

** waterbomb: AH! I'm sorry for not really knowing about Chemotherapy well, but from what I see, she was treated with radiation D8 But thank you for clearing out! And thank you for liking it 8)  
**

** pkmn trainer bronze: BAWW! I made you wait again ;A;  
**

* * *

**Date: Unknown**

**Weather: Unknown**

Red (I'm guessing you are reading this), I'm sure by the time you saw this page, I am already no longer in this world. This was written earlier so I don't know which date it will be when you read this. Yes, I wrote this, just in case I can't pick up the pen anymore.

Throughout my early life, I have always looked down you, cursed you and then just run off without an apology. And the moment you took away everything from me in the Pokémon League, I noticed I am a weakling. A weakling that denies his weakness, and pushed the blame all to my Pokémons and you. I guess Gramps was right about me. That's why he preferred you more than me at that time.

But it didn't matter on how he thinks about me. Because by then, I noticed you are important to me. I noticed that after you left without any notice. I searched for you frantically, at every place in Kanto that you would go. When I couldn't find you, only then I knew that I knew so little of my childhood friend. You. I barely know anything about you. I then decided to become a gym leader, and with the help from Lance, I managed to find out where you are.

Alone. On the goddamn Mt. Silver.

At that time, I wondered why you chose that place. I wondered is it because of me that you left us all. Your friends, your family, _me_. Without thinking, I packed everything and rushed up to find you. I wasn't thinking at all. I did not even study the terrain and weather conditions of the mountain, which is why you saw me in ruins. To me, seeing you at the cave was somehow relieving. Because, you are alive.

But.

You've changed.

You were not bubbly anymore. You became quiet. Stoic. I wondered was it because of the solitary when you're the league's Champion that got you like that. Or, because I left you when you looked for me, you became like that. If it is, I apologize deeply from my heart. I wanted to do it at that time. But I couldn't. Instead, I must have ended up annoying you. But, I couldn't just leave you with just that jacket and t-shirt of yours in a cold weather. And what do you even eat up there anyway? It must be something not nutritious. Nevertheless, I always go up there, bringing the food for you. Even if you find me as a nuisance.

It was all normal, until the time you lost to Gold.

I was the one who told him about you being there. I got to know, from spending time with you on the mountains, that you were in the mountains, so that you can be defeated. You are strong, but you became too strong for any trainers in the world. Even I can't win against you when you battled me the moment you saw me. I was of course disappointed with myself, but not like before. In fact, the loss was nothing to me. And then, you heard from Lance that the strongest Pokémons are at Mt. Silver. Even so, those Pokémons couldn't defeat you. Instead, you grew stronger. So I made a vow at that time, that if anyone can defeat me, I would send him to you. But to do that, I need to grow stronger. That's why whenever I visit you, I battle with you.

And Gold did as expected. He defeated me and _you_. You were happy, but it wasn't long. You felt lost, and didn't know what to do. And then you returned up there once more, to challenge anyone who climbs up there. Of course, to do that, they have to go through me. Silver and Kotone did it, but I guessed they didn't challenge you but stayed with you for some time. Because every time I got up there, I see you with them.

Part of me was happy. Part of me was jealous.

Because they just know you, but they managed to make you smile. I was jealous of them. But also I hated myself. I couldn't understand you so much, that I felt disappointed with myself. That's when I decided to visit you lesser, and just only made you call me when you needed supplies. I was ashamed of myself that I couldn't bring myself to see you on my own accords.

And then, things happened.

All happened too fast, since I got this disease. I wished I didn't have it. But, because of this disease, I got to know of your feelings towards me. It may be too late, but hey, nothing is too late right? Though, I am sorry. For leaving you like this. I'm sorry, Red. But I'm glad to have you by my side. I really am.

So, don't worry. I don't mind you finding someone else to love when I'm gone. I don't want to restraint you. And I don't know what to write anymore. I don't want to let go of this pen, but I have to. So let me end this.

"My dear Red,

-smudged words-ou."


	13. Extra

**Extra end~**

* * *

Red closed the diary as he stood by the empty bed. Yes. Green has gone. And now, he's alone in the room. Daisy is still crying outside, with Professor Oak. A stern man like Professor Oak, could even cry at the loss of his grandson. Red sat by the bed, touching the soft sheets. Green's warmth still lingers. Immediately, Red lied down and looking at the ring on his left hand, tears rolled down.

It took a while for Red to calm down and walked out of the room. By then, Daisy and Professor Oak had already long calmed down. The older Oak looked at Red who is holding the book tightly. Professor Oak gave a pat at Red's shoulder.

"You can keep it."

With that said, the older Oak went in and cleaned up the things that Green had during his stay in the hospital

In Red's room, Red reread the diary once more. And at the last page, he picked up a nearby pen and wrote:

"_**12 aaaa, yyyy**_"


End file.
